Wednesday Whatever – Dreams & A Dream Pillow

Why Remember Your Dreams?

Your dreaming mind has access to information that is not readily available to you when you are awake. Your dreams may reveal your secret desires and subconscious feelings. In remembering your dreams, you will have an increased knowledge about yourself, bring about self-awareness and self-healing. Dreams are an extension of how you perceive yourself. They can be a source of inspiration, wisdom, and joy.

You don’t have to interpret your dreams in order to solve your problems. But just as there is the saying that “Death cures cigarette smoking,” you might find that listening to your dreams may help you solve your problems before you run out of time. Dreams are always “true”—it’s just that what they mean isn’t always what we think they mean. Sometimes a dream gives a warning of danger, but if you pay attention to the dream and change your ways the danger won’t necessarily happen. And most often a dream’s meaning will be metaphorical, not literal.

For example, a woman may dream that her husband is having a sexual affair, but it would be a mistake to conclude that her husband is really having an affair. The dream is simply providing the woman graphic evidence that she somehow feels betrayed by her husband. Once she acknowledges that feeling, she can then start examining her life consciously—and honestly—to find out why she feels betrayed and what she needs to do about it. All dreams essentially tell us one important thing: “Wake up!” That is, just as you must wake up from a dream to remember it, the dream itself is telling you to “wake up” to the truth that you try to hide from others—and from yourself. Of course, there is a positive as well as a negative side to remembering and interpreting your dreams.

The negative side is that you may come across a side of yourself that you really don't like or are afraid to know about. You may discover that you aren't (always) the "Miss Goody Two Shoes" or "Mr. Nice Guy" that you profess to be during the day. You may discover that your childhood was not all ice cream, roller-skating and amusement parks. You may end up shedding light on dark places and recall secrets long repressed. This can be scary stuff.

The positive side is that you go through a metamorphosis or catharsis and become - you. You become the “you” that you were always meant to be. You will become truer to yourself and therefore, you will find that you are happier. Learning to recall your dreams may help you become a more assertive, creative person. In remembering your dreams, you are expressing and confronting your feelings. Remembering your dreams can help you come to terms with stressful aspects of your lives. But this may be easier said than done. Five minutes after the end of the dream, half the content is forgotten. After ten minutes, 90% is lost. Dreamers, who are awakened right after REM sleep, are able to recall their dreams more vividly than those who slept through the night until morning. Obviously, remembering your dreams is vital to interpreting them. So, how can you better remember your dreams?

How To Remember Your Dreams

When beginning the steps towards interpreting your dreams, many people find it helpful to keep a notebook – a dream journal, if you will – right next to your bed with a pen or pencil. As soon as you are physically able, begin your journal. Write down your dream as soon as you remember it. Write down everything you remember, even if it doesn't make sense. Most often, the parts that don't make sense or are out of place are the most valuable. Every detail, even the minutest element in your dream is important and must be considered when analyzing your dreams. Look closely at the characters, animals, objects, places, emotions, and even color and numbers that are depicted in your dreams. Ask yourself, "What does this remind me of?" Write down the first thing that comes to your mind. This will likely be the real situation in your life that is symbolized in the dream. What did that real-life situation make you feel like? If this is the same feeling represented in your dream, you're on the right track. Often when there is more than one part to your dream (more than one story line) that usually means there are two things your subconscious is trying to tell you.

Remember that we have between four and seven dreams per night. If you wake up from a dream, write it down. Don’t roll over and go back to sleep. If you don’t write it down, you’ll never remember it in the morning! At the very least, you can jot down the basic premise of the dream and go back in the morning to fill in the rest of the details such as feelings, etc. Suggest to yourself every night as you fall asleep, "I will remember my dreams." Say this over and over. Your subconscious will act on this subtle suggestion. Practice keen observation in your dreams through self-suggestion prior to sleep. When a problem confronts you, you might want to ask by prayer for guidance to be sent to you through your dreams. Trust your instincts! If something seems important, it probably is. Try not to let your logical side take over.

So you’ve got your dreams down on paper. Where do you go next? The next step would be interpretation.

Taken in part from How to Interpret Your Dreams

 

Making an Enchanted Dream Pillow
Dream pillows have been around for centuries. They are filled with herbs and scents that enable the user to sleep peacefully. I am a very lucid dreamer and get most of my wisdom and insight during dream time. I have friends who complain that they can never remember their dreams, and have asked me on many occasion if there is anything I can recommend. With that need in mind, I have come up with a twist on the dream pillow. Why not include magical herbs, stones, or oils to affect the dream-state? Here's what I've come up with:

Constructing The Pillow:
Be sure that the herbs you use have a strong scent. Try to incorporate no more than two herbs within a pillow.

You will need

• 1 yard of natural fabric that has a looser weave. This will make 4 to 6 pillows,  depending on the size (if you don't use them all yourself, they make great gifts).
• Herbs and Stones to Use:
  • To remember your dreams:
  • Herbs: Mugwort, bay, rosemary, lavender, catnip (flowers of these herbs is best).
  • Stones: Adventurine, Celestite, Amethyst, and Fluorite.
  • To guard against nightmares and spiritual evil:
  • Herbs: Rosemary, valerian, frankincense, and lemon balm.
    Stones: Onyx, Obsidian, Moldavite, and Turquoise.
  • For more lucid or vivid dreams:
  • Herbs: Flowers of Mugwort, mint, lavender.
    Stones: Rudilated Quartz Crystal, Aquamarine, Tiger-eye, and Carnelian.
  • For dreams of love or romance:
  • Herbs: Flowers of roses, yarrow, lavender, crepe myrtle, violets, dill, coriander, and basil.
  • Stones: Ruby, Garnet, Rose Quartz, and Red Jasper.
    For dreams of peace and guidance:
  • Herbs: Leaves of sage, sassafras, mullein,  pine needles, and chamomile flowers.
    Stones: Amethyst, Celestite, Opal, and Moonstone.

Cut the fabric into squares. Take two pieces of the fabric, and sew them together on three sides. Turn the fabric inside out so that the loose stitching is on the inside. Stuff in the herbs and/or stones through the open side and stitch them in. The pillow will be placed inside your regular pillowcase when you sleep. If you want to add a little punch to your enchanted pillows, magically charge them under a waxing or full moon, and do it on the day or hour appropriate to the pillow's purpose.

 

Disclaimer: No one involved in this blog or its contents may be held responsible for any adverse reactions arising from following any of the instructions / recipes on this list. It is the reader's personal responsibility to exercise all precautions and use his or her own discretion if following any instructions or advice from this blog

Friday Form A Circle – Ostara/Eostar Ritual

Ostara/Eostar Ritual
from Under A Silver Moon

Needed:

• Spring flowers
• Cauldron
• Spring water
• Flowers/buds/blossoms, etc for wearing (optional)
• Pastel colored candles
• A small potted plant

Flowers should be laid on the altar, placed around the circle and strewn on the ground. The cauldron can be filled with spring water and flowers, and buds and blossoms may be worn as well. A small potted plant should be placed on the altar. Arrange the altar, light the candles and incense, and cast the Circle of Stones. Recite the Blessing Chant. Invoke the Goddess and God in whatever words please you. Stand before the altar and gaze upon the plant as you say:

"O Great Goddess,
You have freed yourself from the icy prison of winter.
Now is the greening,
When the fragrance of flowers drifts on the breeze.
This is the beginning.
Life renews itself by Your magic,
The Earth Goddess.
The God stretches and rises,
Eager in His youth,
And bursting with the promise of summer."

Touch the plant. Connect with its energies and, through it, all nature. Travel inside its leaves and stems through your visualization - from the center of your consciousness out through your arm and fingers and into the plant itself. Explore its inner nature; sense the miraculous processes of life at work within it. After a time, still touching the plant, say:

"I walk the Earth in friendship,
Not in dominance.
Mother Goddess and Father God,
Instill within me,
Through this plant a warmth for all living things.
Teach me to revere the Earth and all its treasures.
May I never forget."

Meditate upon the changing of the seasons. Feel the rousing of energies around you in the Earth. Works of magic, if necessary, may follow. Celebrate the Simple Feast. The circle is released.

Disclaimer: No one involved in this blog or its contents may be held responsible for any adverse reactions arising from following any of the instructions / recipes on this list. It is the reader's personal responsibility to exercise all precautions and use his or her own discretion if following any instructions or advice from this blog

Sunday Surprise - Hestia's Cleansing Meditation

Hestia's Cleansing Meditation
By Hestia

This is a mediation I wrote a number of years ago for an Imbolc ritual. I suggest taping it or finding someone to lead you through it. It doesn't take you down so you will have to use your own method for finding alpha. Let me know what you think.
Hestia

Take a candle and place on your right, close to hand

Earth.

You see a large depression about the size of a large hot tub, of soft, wet earth that reminds you of the mud puddles you may have played in when you were younger, or perhaps you still do. Sit and kinda roll in it. Feel it squish up between your fingers and toes. Feel it softly scrubbing away all worries about finances, work, responsibilities, commitments that you no longer seem to have the energy to face. Quiet your inner thoughts and listen carefully to the heartbeat of the mother. Let the sound help you renew your sense of foundation. Feel yourself become even more centered, your sense of balance greatly improved. Do you hear other sounds? Perhaps the sounds of things stirring in the veins of the mother? Sap running? Seeds sprouting? The much needed rest of the winter is loosening her grip. You must avoid becoming stagnant.

Air

Feel a gentle breeze blowing through your hair, tugging at any clothing you may be wearing, pulling gently at it, becoming stronger until it is a whirlwind tearing at your flesh. The dirt that was still clinging to you is "blown" off. The wind slowly rids you of all your negative thought patterns that you've been carrying with you this year. It also cleans your system of the impurities that cause sickness, giving your body the much needed health and vitality to enter this fast paced time. Your mind is clear, no longer held back with old "proven" ideals. You see things as they really are, not as you have been led to believe. New creative ideas are given the space needed to flourish with a greater capacity to remember, but also you must remember that others may not have the capacity to do as you do. Learn to communicate without demeaning others.

Fire

You see a great tower of fire, that, while you can feel heat, does not burn. Somehow you know it will not hurt you as you step into it. At first things feel uncomfortable, your blood has been very sluggish with the cold of winter, but as your blood moves faster it no longer bothers you. In fact it invigorates you. Your energy level knows no bounds. You begin to see the underlying reason, motivation of the things you are doing as well as the motivations of those around you. You no longer want to sit and think. You want to do! And then something else occurs to you, fire is hard to control. You must use this energy wisely.

Water

A large, deep lake stands before you. The water looks cool and inviting after the heat of fire, so you slowly wade in, relaxing your emotional muscles. You begin to swim around. Noticing how clean the water tastes, you cup your hands and drink your fill. Your connection with the Lady is now complete. Your psychic eye is open. You are open. You see the flow of energy around you, connecting everything together as if a giant spider had caught the world in its web. You see the relationships between you and your loved ones and notice the emotions that flow back and forth along those lines. The water your skin is drinking in feeds your creativity, giving support and encouragement to your ideas. Allowing your dreams to be fulfilled. Before you leave the water, visualize your shields. Remember that your subconscious mind needs those shields to protect itself outside of your sacred place.

Center

Move back towards the center of your sacred place. Remember the candle that was beside you and to your right as you entered this state. Pull all the sensations, thoughts, energy and feelings you experienced together into yourself and send it into the candle. When you have finished, remember to ground any excess energy and recenter yourself. When you are ready, return to the circle. Take the candle with you and use it anytime you feel that you need to reconnect with this state of mind. Also use it to clean your crystals, tarot cards, home, anything that may need extra special attention.

Disclaimer: No one involved in this blog or its contents may be held responsible for any adverse reactions arising from following any of the instructions / recipes on this list. It is the reader's personal responsibility to exercise all precautions and use his or her own discretion if following any instructions or advice from this blog

Wednesday What Herb Isn’t Herbal Today :( - How to Become A Witch in Nine Easy Lessons

For those who are a little slow on the uptake, this is humor…

In the 1980's it was fashionable to be interested in the New Age. This is now a dreadful faux pas within the alternative scene, and in order to be accepted in the 1990's metaphysical social set, one must have an interest in Witchcraft or Paganism. Of course, you don't have to actually belong to a coven in order to be thought of as a Witch, you can bluff your way into being accepted as a fully fledged Witch simply by knowing a few terms and dressing accordingly. This brings us to...

• Rule # 1: Image is Everything. After all, what's the good of being a Witch if nobody knows you are one? You must therefore wear black at all times. If possible, stay out of the sun until you become really pale, as this makes the effect even better. For women (and adventurous males) dark eyeliner and black nail polish can enhance this look. Also wear crystals and cheap occult paraphernalia at all times, and make sure that these are as gaudy and bizarre as possible, as this can only help your image. Wearing a pentacle around your neck is an absolutely necessary accessory - the bigger the better! Capes and cloaks are optional around town - it depends on how much of a visual impact you want to make, but either of these are also crucial apparel at any ritual or gathering that you may attend.
• Rule # 2: Name Dropping is Good. Every serious student of The Craft (and I'm talking here about the term for Witchcraft, not macramé) knows the name Gerald Gardner. This man revitalized Witchcraft in the mid 1900's with his book about the true history of The Old Religion (some have called this book pure fiction, but only those picky few who like books to be based on facts). Real Witches however, never let historical accuracy get in the way of their spiritual path, so in conversations with other Witches, quote his name as often as possible (in tones of awe) and you will always be rewarded with smiles of acceptance.
• Rule # 3: Past Life Name Dropping is Even Better. Tell everyone about the past life memories that have been surfacing since you began studying the Black Arts. It is especially useful to remember a past lifetime as a Witch who was killed during the Inquisition, or at least recall a lifetime as a famous occultist. My past lives have included Aleister Crowley, Cagliostro, Mandrake the Magician, and most of the cast of "Bewitched".
• Rule # 4: Behave Strangely. Never forget why it was that you wanted to become a Witch - yes, so that you have an excuse for strange behavior. Previously labeled eccentric behavior patterns can now be accepted by others if they have a reason to explain it, even if that reason for howling at full moons while naked is simply, "He/she is a Witch, that's normal for them evidently." So, don't let your friends down, behave strangely, you can get away with it now.
• Rule # 5: Watch Occult Movies. Make sure that you watch the movie "Warlock" lots of times to perfect those soft landings after over-indulging with the flying ointments (read as mead and weed).
• Rule # 6: Ready Yourself for Sex, Money and Power. Wasn't this the other reason you were drawn to Witchcraft? In the past, adepts of the occult were known to possess charismatic, lusty and powerful personas - when people find out that you are a Witch, they may automatically assume (and therefore empower you) with these same qualities. This may sound pretty good, but unfortunately in today's world, another group of people have become even more established within the realms of kinky sex sessions and unlimited power - yes, the politicians! Beware of this elitist group of power-brokers...they don't want any competition to their manipulative monopoly over the gullible public - hence the laws against Witchcraft and divination that have remained unchanged for centuries. So, if calling yourself a High Priest doesn't lead you to unlimited sex, money and power - or if it does, but you then find yourself as the target of political and legal harassment - you may
  have to put aside your cloak and broomstick and pick up a pin-stripe suit and a back-bench in Parliament. If you can't beat them, try bribery, then if that doesn't work...join them!
• Rule # 7: Atmosphere is Essential. Your home must reflect your Witchy nature. Incense must burn continuously. It's important that visitors see clouds of incense smoke billowing from a spluttering censer in the corner of your dim, dank and dusty home, so dismantle the smoke detectors and start collecting strange little bottles of exotic looking ingredients (use your imagination and label them with names like powdered bat's eyes, or dried dragon's gonads). And if you don't like housework, you can explain that the layer of dust that covers your floors and furniture helps to neutralize the highly charged psychic energy that results from your magical spells, thereby protecting your home and possessions from electromagnetic disintegration.
• Rule # 8: Be Patronizing to Christians. In social discussions don't forget to make plenty of derogatory remarks about fundamentalist Christians, but remember to save your most biting comments for other Witches that you don't get along with.
• Rule # 9: Brag About Your Psychic Powers. Any self-respecting Witch will tell you that after their initiation to Witchcraft, their psychic powers awakened and their tarot cards (which they always carry with them) are now much easier to read (they now get something right once in a while). They will also tell you that they can now sense energy fields (in other words, they don't bump into things as often as they used to). Follow this example and brag about the rapid development of your psychic abilities since your initiation. If asked about your initiation ceremony, simply state that you were sworn to secrecy about it, then quickly change the subject by mentioning your newly awakened ability to detect Ley-lines, but try to remember that a Ley-line is not a queue for the after-ritual orgy!

Now you know how to pass yourself off as a real Witch, so place that broomstick in a conspicuous corner (one that is not clouded by too much incense smoke); pull on those black clothes; give everyone that you meet a sinister look - and your social status will improve overnight. If you do all of this successfully, you may even find yourself with enough adoring acolytes so that you can start your own coven! Good luck and Blessed Be!

Disclaimer: No one involved in this blog or its contents may be held responsible for any adverse reactions arising from following any of the instructions / recipes on this list. It is the reader's personal responsibility to exercise all precautions and use his or her own discretion if following any instructions or advice from this blog.

Thursday This Is Your Spell - Spell For Depression

Spell For Depression
found at khakani’s mystical world

Needs:

• 3 black candles
• 3 white candles
• cedar chips
• rose petals
• catnip
• cinnamon

Go outside, somewhere where you can feel the air, and open a circle. Kneel in the middle of the circle facing east. Place the candles in a semi-circle in front of you, and light each one. On a fire proof plate, start a small fire of cedar chops. Sprinkle the rose petals, catnip and cinnamon in the fire while saying:

Earth and Fire, Water and Air
Hear my prayer, Hear my prayer
Take this depression, Take it away
Give me the strength To face a new day.

When the fire dies down, splash a little blessed water on the fire. Take the wet ashes and throw them as far from you as you can and say:

With these ashes go my pain,
From the healing fires,
New strength regained.

Thank the elements for hearing you, and close the circle.

Disclaimer: No one involved in this blog or its contents may be held responsible for any adverse reactions arising from following any of the instructions / recipes on this list. It is the reader's personal responsibility to exercise all precautions and use his or her own discretion if following any instructions or advice from this blog.

Saturday Special Stones – Not - Bullying by Pagans?!?

“Saturday Special Stones” is going to be put on hold for a while :( Unfortunately for the next several months (and the last few, too actually) I have to work until 9 on Friday night, and be back in at 9 on Saturday morning. In order for me to be able to do this feature properly, quite a bit of time needs be spent on research, and I just don’t have that  time available right now…I plan to post something, I just haven’t determined a theme yet, so please bear with me while I get it figured out. Thank you to all 3 (if even that many) regular readers of mine for your patronage & patience. For today, I’m just going to leave you with this, I feel, necessary and informative article – the original can be found at The Problem of Pagan Bullying.

Bullying by Pagans?!?

Most people, when asked why Paganism appeals to them as a spiritual path would cite as part of the reason the tolerance, compassion and acceptance that they found from others in the Community. Generally speaking, this would be a fair statement - most Pagans are like this. Unfortunately, as in all religions, there are some who are not as interested in the spiritual aspects as they are in gaining and keeping power over others.

One problem we have is that Paganism is infested with various types of bullies, intent on creating rifts between people so that they gain control of the Communities they deal with. The most common way these people achieve this is through the spreading of rumors and lies in an effort to drive targeted people out of the Community and make those remaining afraid of sharing the same fate if they take a stand against the bully.

Persons who act this way are a great danger to our Communities, and not just to individual people. They help to confirm the negative image that mainstream society already has about Paganism, and this is not beneficial in our struggle for religious equality. We need to put our differences aside, stop trying to make ourselves feel superior by bad-mouthing others, and grow up already!

While an incredibly diverse crowd, individual Pagans often have a few things in common: 1) we are usually well educated (or at least well-read) and more aware of history, environmental issues, current events and politics than the average population; 2) most of us are tolerant of differences between people, and able to live and let live; 3) many of us have been emotionally wounded at some point in our lives; and 4) we have almost always left mainstream religions, whether of our own volition or because we felt rejected by them. This wounding and/or religious rejection leaves some of us vulnerable, or at least sensitive to the opinions of others.

Unfortunately it can also make for a predator's paradise because they can choose from plenty of people and be fairly confident that no one in the Community will come to their target's aid. It thus becomes easy for bullies to gain control of the situation and the Community, able to drive out those who take a stand against them and manipulate whoever is left over. Gradually those left drift away and join other Communities or become solitary. This is how Pagan Communities fall apart, and also why many so solitary Pagans have e-mailed me, saying that they want nothing to do with others of our kind in case something similar happens again.

I personally have been Pagan since my early teens, but it has been only in the last five years that I got involved in the larger Community.  I was led to believe that we are an intelligent, tolerant lot (and most of us are). Of course, I was a bit idealistic - we are human beings after all, and we do have individual faults. However, I never expected to see exclusionary practices performed by a group of people who themselves know what it is to sit outside of mainstream society.

Being who and what I am, I will not sit by and accept the status quo. If the existence of this website doesn’t help me, perhaps it can help other people facing similar situations.

What I Found in My Research

When I started having problems with someone in the Community I read several books on bullying, went to numerous web sites and posted my own story on web boards trying to get advice, but frankly, there is little help to be had in this situation. I examined material on schoolyard, work-related, and various types of religious bullying. If it was school or work-related there would a lot more options, but bullying in a religious community is more-or-less thought of as a social problem and so considered less important. However, many of the work-related situations in particular do apply to things in the Pagan Community, and so do some of the solutions. I therefore started building this website as a resource for people in my position, who are willing to fight back.

Obviously this site is focused on bullies who operate within the Pagan Community, but all bullies are basically the same, and so are the methods of dealing with them. Most of what is written here can be applied to adult bullies elsewhere.

I spent months delving into this subject, and very quickly found out that bullying is almost as common in the Pagan Community as it is in other parts of society. What also became really obvious to me is that Pagan (and mainstream) bullies count on the probability that the Community will not unite against them if they pick us off one by one. 

Bullies, slanderers, narcissists and character assassins all have several things in common, so I will be using the words more-or-less interchangeably.

Have You, or Do You Know Someone in the Pagan Community Who (for no good reason) Has Been:

regularly subjected to destructive criticism where opinions or suggestions are ridiculed, overruled, shouted down, sneered at, patronized, dismissed or ignored? Yes, we all feel like this sometimes, but I'm talking about feeling like this a lot of the time, and caused by the same specific people

undermined, especially in front of others, had false concerns raised, or doubts expressed about their knowledge? A false concern is expressing doubt where there are grey areas, in order to make others wonder about the target's truthfulness. For example an individual might know a famous witch or author well and are able to explain their views on various topics, but someone (who does not have any proof to the contrary) claims this is highly unlikely, or worse, calls them a liar

ostracized by others in the Community, or isolated and excluded from what's happening? Do people often "forget" to tell them things that are going on, or invite them to public events? While it is possible that the excluded person did something to offend someone, I'm referring to times when this happens for no obvious reason other than the head bully has taken a dislike to them and pressures others to leave them out of the loop

singled out and treated differently (for example, everyone else can become emotional in ritual, but when the target does it, it is made fun of)? Contrary to some people's speculations, this is not from personal experience - I think very few people who know me would dare to make fun of me to my face - but it's a common theme from people who have been targeted, and it's wrong to behave this way.

the target of offensive language, personal remarks, or the subject of unwanted sexual behavior?  This point does not mean that we cannot swear once in a while - it refers to deliberately trying to offend a specific person, especially after they have shown sensitivity to certain topics. Unwanted sexual behavior is never acceptable for any reason, and the truth is some people use it as a weapon, either to gain more power or to frighten people out of the Community. It's not the Community's problem unless it's accepted behavior from one of its members, or people look the other way when they know it is happening, but it does happen in all religions  from time to time and there is no point in trying to deny it

experienced taunting and teasing where the intention is to embarrass and humiliate, especially in front of others? This does not refer to the good-natured teasing that we all engage in with our friends, where everyone (including the target) laughs and joins in the fun. This is the type that is done to hurt someone's feelings, embarrass them, expose confidences or otherwise make the target feel uncomfortable. Too many people engage in this kind of teasing, knowing that if their target objects they can say "I was just kidding!" or "Where's your sense of humor?" to wiggle out of culpability and make the person look more foolish to people who don't know the whole story

either overloaded with the work of the coven or shut out altogether (or given all the menial jobs)? Yes, many covens are closed to newcomers and many have a specific hierarchy -- but what I'm referring to is unfairness in the distribution of work or responsibility because one person has targeted another. There is also the fact that sometimes certain people in a coven are more favored than others, so they get their degrees and designations far more quickly than those not so well-liked by the High Priest or Priestess even though they may be equal in knowledge and ability.

had their ideas plagiarized, stolen or copied by the bully, who then presents the ideas as their own? It's very hard to prove that something was your idea after the fact, and bullies are very skilled at making it look as if the person with the original idea is jealous

the subject of unfair or nonsense complaints by other members of the Community (some of whom may have been persuaded to make up their accusations. Complaints are trivial, often bizarre "He looked at me in a funny way" and often bear strange similarity to each other, suggesting that they have discussed what they will say with the others involved)? Again, for no apparent reason and sometimes out of the blue.

getting unpleasant or threatening calls or are harassed with intimidating notes or emails with no verbal communication? Yes, you can hang up, throw out the notes and delete the e-mails, but that would be a mistake if you really are being bullied. You may need this information as evidence later - record all incidents carefully and keep all physical evidence

encouraged to feel guilty, and to believe they’re always the one at fault?

facing ejection from the coven or Community on fabricated charges or flimsy excuses, often using a trivial incident from months or years previously?

If you answered "yes" to five or more of the above questions, you probably are or have been the target of a Pagan bully. If the positive answers apply to someone else, you have to ask yourself what you plan to do about it. 

Disclaimer: No one involved in this blog or its contents may be held responsible for any adverse reactions arising from following any of the instructions/recipes on this list. It is the reader's personal responsibility to exercise all precautions and use his or her own discretion if following any instructions or advice from this blog.

Friday Form A Circle - Solitary New Moon Ritual

Solitary New Moon Ritual

Tools:

• cedar or sage smudging wand
• white candle
• bell
• athame

Cast the circle. Use the smudging wand to purify the space as you move around the circle.

Invocation to the Goddess

(ring bell with arms in Goddess position, arms in a V above your head)

Great Hecate, Queen of the Underworld, Protectress of all Magic,
It is my will on this night of the new moon to overcome my shadows 
To  bring about change.
I invite you to my circle to assist and protect me in my rite.

 

Invocation to the God

(hold athame with your hands in the God position, crossed over your chest)

Great Anubis, God of Protection
It is my will on this night of the new moon to overcome my shadows
To bring about change
I invite you to my circle to assist me and protect me in my rite.

Statement of Intent

Dark is the night as I reach this turning point
Here is a time of death, yet a time of rebirth.
Endings and beginnings
Ebbings and flowings
A journey done and a journey yet to start.
As the wheel turns, I see birth, death and rebirth
And I know that every end is a beginning.

Meditation

Remember a time in your life when you were miserable, depressed and felt like you couldn't go on. Let the painful memories overtake you, feeling yourself weaken and become frightened. Put yourself back in that pain-filled time in your life. As you meditate on that time, sink down the floor and curl up in an embryonic position. You are completely obsessed by pain and depression. The shadows around you lengthen and darkness spreads.

Then -- Arise! Light your white candle and hold it high overhead. Say:

In darkness, there is light!
I feel energy and life returning to me!
I feel my heartbeat strong
I feel the power of the universe and the power of the
Goddess and God within me.

Pass the candle over your body, tuning in completely with the light, feeling its power heal and protect you. Allow its rays to completely penetrate your being, healing and cleansing you. As you are doing this, chant:

Let the light cast out all darkness

Cakes and wine. Thank the God and Goddess for their presence. Close the circle.

 

Disclaimer: No one involved in this blog or its contents may be held responsible for any adverse reactions arising from following any of the instructions/recipes on this list. It is the reader's personal responsibility to exercise all precautions and use his or her own discretion if following any instructions or advice from this blog.

Sunday Surprise - “To Be A Witch” & “Tips for Solitary Practitioners”

Both of these pieces were found at Joelle’s Sacred Grove – Well, the “Tips for Solitary Witches” was found in my Book of Shadows, but apparently originally came from there… *grin*

TO BE A WITCH.....
author unknown

To be a witch is to love and be loved.
To be a witch is to know everything, and nothing at all.
To be a witch is to move amongst the stars while staying on earth.
To be a witch is to change the world around you, and yourself.
To be a witch is to share and give, while receiving all the while.
To be a witch is to dance and sing, and hold hands with the universe.
To be a witch is to honor the gods, and yourself.
To be a witch is to Be Magick, not just perform it.
To be a witch is to be honorable, or nothing at all.
To be a witch is to accept others who are not.
To be a witch is to know what you feel is right and good.
To be a witch is to harm none.
To be a witch is to know the ways of old.
To be a witch is to see beyond the barriers.
To be a witch is to follow the moon.
To be a witch is to be one with the gods.
To be a witch is to study and to learn.
To be a witch is to be the teacher and the student.
To be a witch is to acknowledge the truth.
To be a witch is to live with the earth, not just on it.
To be a witch is to be truly free!

Tips For Solitary Witches
written by Jim Garrison

There are a lot more self-initiated Witches out there than practically any other variety.  While it is a valid and legitimate spiritual path, self-initiation also  poses a few unique challenges to those who would seek the Old Gods on their own.  If you are contemplating self-initiation and the building of your own spiritual practice based on the Wiccan model, here are some tips to help make the process  go a bit more smoothly.

You have every right to initiate yourself and to follow your own, unique paths to the Gods.

No one has a monopoly on wisdom, nor on the Mysteries.  Anyone who approaches the gods with sincerity, respect, and integrity  can and will discover their own way to commune with these essential  forces of nature. It requires creativity, persistence, and determination - it is a challenging path to take.

Clarify your intent.

Ask yourself "Why am I doing this?" It is wise that you examine your motivations  - pursuing such an intensive path as solitary Wicca is not something  to do on a whim, nor is it a "fun" hobby. It's work, and plenty of it. You don't get to take advantage of someone else's previous efforts, except for what you can get out of books. You have to build your own foundation, and establish a mythos and context within which to work.  You can just declare yourself a member of your own tradition, but what will it mean?

Gather your resources.

You need to establish a set of ground rules - guidelines for what you want  and what you plan to do. This will require reading everything you can get.  Try to read a diversity of authors, and don't just read about Witchcraft  - broaden your horizons as much as possible.

If you find something you like, adapt it

Don't just lift it out of its context. Once you have a basic framework  within/upon which to work, rewrite everything to fit your emerging vision.  Don't be worried about perfection - you will re-write things many times as you develop and grow. The more you learn, the more you'll be able to enhance, refine, and desire to modify your first attempts at a ritual.  When members of a tradition refer to basic things such as their oaths,  the creed of their sect, whatever degree they may have been initiated  into or whatever, these things all mean something within that tradition. When you are self-initiated, it's all up to you what it all means to you  - in as far as it applies to you and you alone. Develop your own unique versions of those elements of the Craft that you choose to adopt. It's perfectly fine to toss out all the old stuff  and start out on your own path. If you do, there's a lot of baggage to deal with, and you might not want to toss the baby out with the bath water. Take some time and reflect upon these things. Make no hasty decisions.  Seek to understand your impetus and motivation for removing or including the various bits and pieces of Craft material. Personal creativity is a vital part of the Craft. There's not much room for dogma in an ecstatic, experiential religion.

Draft a statement of your core beliefs

Sign it, date it, and place it in your journal or Book Of Shadows (BOS). Choose a time each year to re-examine it, meditate upon it, and amend it if desired. Sometimes this is a good thing to do during the winter months,  perhaps at Candlemas or Imbolc. You decide.

Document all of your sources, wherever possible.

Give credit to where credit is due. You have nothing to gain by trying to pretend that you wrote Gerald Gardner's books. Keep yourself honest  and avoid the ego-inflation that comes with plagiarism. Given time, and effort, you will develop your own rites. When you do, you don't want to dilute the meaningfulness of the moment by that nagging little  voice that reminds you that you didn't really do it. Respect your  creativity, maintain personal integrity, and let things develop naturally. You'll be glad you did.

Remember degrees refer to experience, not rank.

Too many readers of books assume that the various degree systems refer to the rank and level of power of an individual, and so they strive to get  to the top of the ladder as fast as possible. Don't. The degrees are a system of landmarks to allow us all to identify those who have undergone similar experiences. When you are working alone, there's little to be gained by initiating yourself into the third degree, assuming the title of elder, or even calling yourself a Witch queen or magus. These things all have very real meanings, and claiming what is not rightfully yours is the surest way to bar your ever attaining it for real. Take your time. Learn all you can,  and work with the gods and mighty ones.

One big advantage you have as a solitary practitioner is the lack of politics and disagreement.

You decide what to do and just do it. This is impossible in group situations where you must deliver cues, explain what you are doing, and accommodate multiple interpretations and viewpoints. As a solitary you know exactly what you are attempting to do, how you want to do it, and you are free to do whatever you will - it's just you and the gods.

Solitary work is ideal for self-transformation and healing.

You can focus on building up your self esteem, creating new habits, and modifying your lifestyle to suit your spiritual outlook. As a solitary  practitioner, you can build your sabbat and esbat rituals around your goals and needs in ways that a group could never do. As you progress, as healing occurs, as changes take place, you will find your practice likewise changing. Consider this a form of sympathetic magic. As you become more fully integrated and whole, your rituals will become more balanced and holistic as well. The Craft is a healing path, so why not approach it as such?

We all learn at different rates and in different styles.

Working alone makes it possible to modify everything to suit your schedule, circumstances, and requirements. Creativity and sincerity can guide you in making your Craft practice a viable and vital part of your life. No matter what disabilities, hindrances, or restrictions you may have in your life, you can practice Wicca - if you truly,  honestly desire to do so.

Be yourself.

Don't try to be something you're not. Remember the words of the Charge Of The Goddess,

"...if you do not find it within you,  you shall never find it at all."

The established traditions - Gardnerians, Alexandrians, Algards, Sheba, Georgian, and so on - have specific rites they have developed. Established traditions have  structures, essential teachings, practices, customs, and shared history that provides a collective context that cannot be accessed by the power of your will, no matter how hard you try. You can access many of the same truths, learn the same secrets, celebrate the same rituals, and experience the same mysteries, but you cannot initiate yourself as a Gardnerian or Mason. Think about it. Why on earth waste your time trying to be something you're not?There's precious little room on the path to spiritual development for self-deceit. Those who truly are drawn to the Craft value honesty. It is absolutely required of you if you have any spiritual aspirations whatsoever. You can lie to yourself, but you'll never fool the Gods.

The above article was written solely by Mr. Jim Garrison.

Disclaimer: No one involved in this blog or its contents may be held responsible for any adverse reactions arising from following any of the instructions/recipes on this list. It is the reader's personal responsibility to exercise all precautions and use his or her own discretion if following any instructions or advice from this blog.

Pathways: An Essay on the Freedom of Religion

Well, it’s Saturday, and so should be “Special Stones” but I really am not up to it tonight. I have been arguing with the computer for days now, had to do the whole birthday thing today, twice, and still have a butt-load of Christmas / other birthday things to do…so on that note, I am going to cheat. OK, not cheat,  rather adapt & overcome….

Pathways: An Essay on the Freedom of Religion
© 2000 DreamDancer

Well, it had been yet another bad day in the office, and once again it was the fault of that new girl, MaryAnne. She is one of those Wiccans, a so called witch. How can anyone in their right mind make this claim, knowing that it goes against God and all of the teachings of the Bible? She doesn't even have the common decency to keep her satanic symbol, her pentagram necklace hidden from the view of the decent, God fearing people in the office. She has some nerve. I find that I cannot hate her for this though, for I know that she has been deceived. Satan works his evil in ways that she cannot see. I've seen that so called Wiccan Creed that she has tacked to the wall above her computer. On the surface, it looks like a decent loving belief, but all one must do is look, look closely and see that by practicing this way, and not embracing Jesus Christ as savior, she is on the pathway to Hell.

As I've said, it was a bad day in the office. Three times in the past few weeks I have been called in to see my supervisor, and he has told me that I am not allowed to preach to MaryAnne the word of God, to show her the error of her ways. Today, my supervisor told me that if I continue to "harass" MaryAnne, he will be forced to terminate me. How can he say this? He himself is a God fearing man. And, how can he be so tolerant of the evil that he sees insinuating itself into our workplace? As I lay down to sleep last night, I asked the Lord for guidance.

"God, grant me a true vision of you, so that I may better lead the faithless onto the righteous path,"

"Oh, a true vision of Me is it? Are you sure that you're ready, truly ready to see, my son?"

I sat bolt upright in bed, and there, at the foot of my bed, white of hair and beard, in a long, flowing white robe, stood the Lord my God. I made to leap from the bed and fall to my knees in front of Him, but he stopped me with a gesture.

"Kneel not before me at this time my son. Instead, rise and walk with Me, so that you may get a glimpse of what I truly am, as you asked of me in your prayer."

He took my hand, and as I looked, my bedroom was no longer there, but a pathway thru the woods. We started to walk, and I was too awestruck for words. We took the path to the left, and we were then inside St. Catherine's Church, in the middle of a service. While still standing beside me, God seemed to expand and fill the whole of the church. I could see smiles of contentment forming on some of the parishioners faces. I felt blessed.

God smiled upon me.

“The Catholics hold such pretty masses, don't they? I like to stop here in this church, because not only do they speak the words, but they live the life, thru teaching, helping the sick and poor, not only with handouts, but helping them learn to help themselves. Now let us walk on,"

We walked a bit further, and then we were in a mosque. At least I believed so, as I had never been in one before, but had seen pictures of them. The group of worshippers was not large, but I could see their rapt faces as they listened to the mullah speak. He was speaking to them of purity, both of the mind and the body, bringing them closer to Allah.

And as he spoke, God, dressed now in the robes of the desert, walked among them and briefly laid his hands upon each set of shoulders. And, from their faces, I could see that these men knew that the words of the mullah were true, and that their spirits felt touched by God.

And then we were back on the pathway. After we had walked a bit, we found ourselves in an African village. People with skin as black as night, the women with their breasts shamefully bared, were dancing in a circle, to the rhythm of the drums being played by a group of men. Somehow though, I was not offended by the bared breasts, and the music seemed to seep into my soul. God was then a mighty lion, and He let forth a mighty roar. The villagers did not seem to hear, but the drums increased their pounding, and the dancers danced with a frenzy.

And then we were back on the pathway. We walked a bit more, and were on the top of a cliff. There sat, painted and covered with feathers, an old Navajo man. As I watched, he seemed to change into the form of an eagle and take flight, and we were flying with him, soaring high into the air, seeing the vista spread out below us. And God, in the form of an eagle Himself, seemed to guide this other eagle thru the air, over mountains and thru valleys, until he came upon a group of men. As I watched, the old Navajo man was no longer an eagle, but a young boy instead, and he sat at the feet of these men, to listen to the words of his elders.

And then we were back on the pathway. We traveled a bit, and then we were in a forest clearing. I knew this place. It was known as a place of devil worship and evil. In the center of the clearing roared a great bonfire and kiwi torches outlined a circle of sorts. Inside this circle, in a circle themselves, stood 7 men and 6 women, dressed in robes of varying colors, their arms raised to the moon. Was that one woman MaryAnne? I really couldn't be sure. And God walked among them in the circle, touching each one. He seemed not to be an older man now, but as he made each of three turns around the circle, he was first a young girl, bouncing with energy, then a woman of middle years, with a tender smile for all Her children, and finally, an old woman, body bent, but holding Her head up with pride.

And a woman stepped forward, and yes, it was MaryAnne, and lifted her head to the sky. "Great Goddess, Mother of us all, thank you for joining us tonight. Stay if You will, go if You must. Know in our hearts You will always be welcome. Blessed be!!"

And we were back on the pathway.

As we walked along, ahead in the distance I saw the most beautiful man. Yes, beautiful, though I would never normally think of a man this way. With blonde hair, and a golden robe, he seemed to radiate sunshine. God and this golden man nodded to each other as they passed, sharing a smile together.

"My Lord" I asked, "was that an angel?"

"Well, yes, he is known as that to some. He is also known to some as a god himself. That was Lucifer"

And His words caused me to stumble. I couldn't believe that we had just passed the ultimate evil.

God looked at me, and He knew my mind. And he chuckled a bit.

"Think about it logically My son. The Lucifer that you know is a fallen angel, cast out of heaven for challenging Me. If I am the all powerful being, above all others, how could he do this? How could I allow it?"

"But, in the Bible...." I stammered.

"The Bible is a wonderful book, as are the Koran and the Torah and many others, but they are just books, written by the hand of man, not written by Me. And, it's a bit confusing as well if the truth be known, but that's not up to Me to fix. These books are wonderful, but only as guidance, for each man and woman must think for themselves."

And, I believed He was right in this.

"Now, come forth, we must journey a little more before you go back" and He took my hand once again.

As we followed the pathway, we soared thru the stars, listening to the music of the heavens, we became a little flower and a mighty oak, we became a babbling brook, and a mighty ocean. We flitted from flower to flower as a little honey bee, and ran across the plains as a mighty stallion. And, all too soon the pathway returned us to my home. God held my hand a moment longer, and smiled into my face.

"My son, you prayed tonight for a true vision of Me. For vision, you must only open your eyes and see what there is to see. Good night to you".

And then He was gone, and I was back in my bed. A dream I thought, only a dream, that couldn't have been real.

At that time, a bolt of lightning lit up my room thru the window, and thunder crashed thru the sky, and I thought I heard, from seemingly far away, "Remember, the Lord works in mysterious ways My son".

This morning as I entered the office, I went to the machine for a cup of coffee, and standing there, I spied MaryAnne. As I approached her, I could see her barely cringe, and I could see in her face that she was expecting yet another onslaught from me and my book. She seemed to cast her eyes about for a way to escape, but there was none.

I walked up to her and smiled.

"I think I owe you a bit of an apology" I said. "I've been a bit narrow minded of late, and I really had no right to subject you to what I did. It's not up to me to say how you find your path to your spirit, and I was wrong to think that was so,"

MaryAnne just stood there, not knowing what to say.

"So, I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry, and I hope you will forgive my trespass. God bless you MaryAnne, and...uh.... Blessed Be?"

You know, I always thought that it was just a saying, about people’s jaws dropping to the floor, but MaryAnne did her best at that moment to prove me wrong.

---

© 2000 DreamDancer

VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS by Margaret Morrison

This has always been one of my favorite stories - mind you I said story not Christmas story. AS pagans in today's world, many feel a need to be defensive about their chosen belief system, sometimes rightfully so. But for a pagan to completely renounce "Christmas" and all that comes with it makes them - in my opinion - no better that a Christian who refuses to acknowledge the pagan roots of the holiday. Everything is what you make of it. Just because the population in general believes that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Christianity's Christ child, and all the hoopla has grown up around that belief, doesn't mean a person should deprive themselves of the all of the fun & happiness that goes along with it.
Decorating a Christmas tree is FUN. Shopping for gifts (for me at least *grin*) is FUN. I truly enjoy finding that one gift that will be perfect, yet utterly unexpected. The surprise & happiness I see on the face of a friend or family member when they see, not only something they wanted, but realize "Hey this person KNOWS me! They PAY ATTENTION to me - what I say and what I do!" And the  realization that I truly do consider them a friend, someone worth knowing well enough to buy a gift that won't sit in the back of a closet...that makes me happy.
I read somewhere that the act gift giving making a person happy is a sign of co-dependence and indicates "a problem." Yeah well, whatever. I disagree. Shouldn't making someone you care for happy make you happy in turn..? How that indicates a problem is beyond me.
Anyways, I imagine many readers have seen this before, but it's my blog, so I can post whatever I want PPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTT ! ! ! !
I also think it's a good reminder - to people of ALL faiths - to loosen up, enjoy, and accept what's offered. Christmas, Yule, Solstice...really, how many holidays get the honor of being celebrated by almost the whole world? ...At the same time? What matter the neighbor's reason for their celebrating? We're all doing it together.....

I tried to find some kind of link to Ms. Morrison, but good googly moogly! there seem to be a bazillion of them!

VISIONS OF SUGARPLUMS
by Margaret Morrison
Copyright © 1999 by Margaret Morrison

Five minutes before the Winter Solstice circle was scheduled to begin, my mother called.  Since I'm the only one in our coven who doesn't run on Pagan Standard Time, I took the call. Half the people hadn't arrived, and those who had wouldn't settle down to business for at least twenty minutes.
"Merry Christmas, Frannie."
"Hi, Mom. I don't do Christmas."
"Maybe not but I do, so I'll say it." she told me in her sassy voice, kind of sweet and vinegary at the same time. "If I can respect your freedom of religion, you can respect my freedom of speech."
I grinned and rolled my eyes. "And the score is Mom - one, Fran - nothing. But I love you, anyway."
People were bustling around in the next room, setting up the altar, decking the halls with what I considered excessive amounts of holly and ivy, and singing something like, "O Solstice Tree."
"It sounds like a...holiday party." Mom said.
"We're doing Winter Solstice tonight."
"Oh. That's sort of like your version of Christmas, right?"
I wanted to snap back that Christmas was the Christian version of Solstice, but I held back. "We celebrate the return of the sun. It's a lot quieter than Christmas. No shopping sprees, no pine needles and tinsel on the floor, and it doesn't wipe me out. I remember how you had always worked yourself to a frazzle by December 26."
"Oh honey, I loved doing all that stuff. I wouldn't trade those memories for all the spare time in the world. I wish you and Jack would loosen up a little for the baby's sake. When you were little, you enjoyed Easter bunnies and trick-or-treating and Christmas things. Since you've gotten into this Wicca religion, you sound a lot like Aunt Betty the year she was a Jehovah's Witness."
I laughed nervously.  "Yeah...How is Aunt Betty?"
"Fine. She's into the Celestine Prophecy now, and she seems quite happy. Y'know," she went on, "Aunt Betty always said the Jehovah's Witnesses said those holiday things were pagan. So I don't see why you've given them up."
"Uh, they've been commercialized and polluted beyond recognition. We're into very simple, quiet celebrations."
"Well," she said dubiously, "as long as you're happy."
Sometimes long distance is better than being there, 'cause your mother can't give you the look that makes you agree with everything she says. Jack rescued me by interrupting. "Hi, Ma." he called to the phone as he waved a beribboned sprig of mistletoe over my head. Then he kissed me, one of those quick noisy ones. I frowned at him.
"Druidic tradition, Fran. Swear to Goddess."
"Of course it is. Did the Druids use plastic berries?"
"Always. We'll be needing you in about five minutes."
"Okay. Gotta go, Mom.  Love you."
We had a nice, serene kind of Solstice Circle. No jingling bells or filked-out Christmas Carols. Soon after the last coven member left, Jack was ready to pack it in.
"The baby's nestled all snug in her bed," he said with a yawn, "I think I'll go settle in for a long winter's nap." I heaved a martyred sigh. He grinned unrepentantly, kissed me, called me a grinch, and went to bed. I stayed up and puttered around the house, trying to unwind.
I sifted through the day's mail, ditched the flyers urging us to purchase all the Seasonal Joy we could afford or charge. I opened the card from his parents. Another sermonette: a manger scene and a bible verse, with a handwritten note expressing his mother's fervent hope that God's love and the Christmas spirit would fill our hearts in this blessed season. She means well, really. I amused myself by picking out every pagan element I could find in the card.
When the mail had been sorted, I got up and started turning our ritual room back into a living room. As if the greeting card had carried a virus, I found myself humming Christmas carols. I turned on the classic rock station, but they were playing that Lennon-Ono Christmas song.
I switched stations.  The weatherman assured me that there was only a twenty percent chance of snow. Then, by Loki, the deejay let Bruce Springsteen insult my ears crooning, "Yah better watch out, yah better not pout."
I tried the Oldies station. Elvis lives, and he does Christmas songs.
Okay, fine. We'll do classical - no, we won't. They're playing Handel's Messiah.
Maybe the community radio station would have something secular humanist. "Ahora, escucharemos a Jose Feliciano canta `Feliz Navidad'."
I was getting annoyed. The radio doesn't usually get this saturated with holiday mush until the twenty-fourth.
"This is too weird." I said to the radio, "Cut that crap out."
The country station had some Kenny Rogers Christmas tune, the first rock station had gone from John and Yoko's Christmas song to Simon and Garfunkel's "Silent Night," and the other rock station still had Springsteen reliving his childhood. "...I'm tellin' you why. Santa Claus is comin' to town!" he bellowed. 
I was about to pick out a nice secular CD when there was a knock at the door. Now, it could have been a coven member who'd forgotten something. It could have been someone with car trouble. It could have been any number of things, but it certainly couldn't have been a stout guy in a red suit - snowy beard, rosy cheeks, and all - backed by eight reindeer and a sleigh. I blinked, wondered crazily where Rudolph was, and blinked again. There were nine reindeer. Our twenty-percent chance of snow had frosted the dead grass and was continuing to float down in fat flakes.
"Hi, Frannie." he said warmly, "I've missed you."
"I'm stone cold sober, and you don't exist."
He looked at me with a mixture of sorrow and compassion and sighed heavily. "That's why I miss you, Frannie. Can I come in? We need to talk."
I couldn't quite bring myself to slam the door on this vision, hallucination, or whatever. So I let him in - because that made more sense then letting all the cold air in while I argued with someone who wasn't there. As he stepped in, a thought crossed my mind about various entities needing an invitation to get in houses. He flashed me a smile that would melt the polar caps.
"Don't you miss Christmas, Frannie?"
"No." I said flatly, "Apparently you don't see me when I'm sleeping and waking these days. I haven't been Christian for years."
"Oh, now don't let that stop you. We both know this holiday's older than that. Yule trees and Saturnalia and here-comes-the-sun, doodendoodoodoo."
I raised an eyebrow at the Beatles reference, then gave him my standard sermonette on the appropriation and adulteration that made Christmas no longer a Pagan holiday. I had done my homework. I listed centuries, I named names - St. Nicholas among them.
"In the twentieth century version," I assured him, "Christmas is two parts crass commercialism mixed with one part blind faith in a religion I rejected years ago."
I gave him my best lines, the ones that had convinced my coven to abstain from Christmassy cliches.
My hallucination sat in Jack's favorite chair, nodding patiently at me.
"And you," I added nastily, "come here talking about ancient customs when you - in your current form - were invented in the nineteenth century by, um...Clement C. Moore."
He laughed, a rolling, belly-deep chuckle unlike any department-store Santa I'd ever heard. "Of course I change my form now and then to suit fashion.  Don't you? And does that stop you from being yourself?" He said, and asked me if I remembered Real Magic, by Isaac Bonewits. I gaped at him for a moment, then caught myself.
"This is like `Labyrinth', right? I'm having a dream that pretends to be real, but is only made from pieces of things in my memory. You don't look a thing like David Bowie."
"Bonewits has this Switchboard Theory." Santa went on amiably, "The energy you put into your beliefs influences the real existence of the  archetypal - oh, let me put it simpler: `In the beginning, Man created God'.  Ian Anderson." He lit a long-stemmed pipe. The tobacco had a mild and somehow Christmassy smell, and every puff sent up a wreath of smoke.  "I'm afraid it's a bit more complicated than Bonewits tells it, but that's close enough for mortals.  Are you with me so far?"
Oh, sure." I lied as unconvincingly as possible. Santa sighed heavily.
"When's the last time you left out milk and cookies for me?"
"When I figured out my parents were eating them."
"Frannie, Frannie. Remember pinda balls, from Hinduism?"
"Rice balls left as offerings for ancestors and gods."
"Do Hindus really believe that the ancestors and gods eat pinda balls?"
"All right, y'got me there. They say that spirits consume the spiritual essence, then mortals can have what's left."
Santa smiled at me compassionately through his snowy beard.
I rallied quickly. "What about the toys? I know for a fact they aren't made by you and a bunch of non-union elves."
"Oh, that's quite true. Manufacturing physical objects out of magical energy is terribly expensive and breaks several laws  of Nature. She only allows us to do that on special occasions. It certainly couldn't be done globally and annually. Now, the missus and the elves and I really do have a shop at the North Pole. Not the sort of thing the Air Force would ever find.  What we make up there is what makes this time a holiday, no matter  what religion it's called."
"Don't tell me," I said, rolling my eyes, "you make the sun come back."
"Oh my, no! The solar cycle stuff, the Reason For The Season, isn't my department. My part is making it a holiday. We make a mild, non-addictive psychedelic thing called Christmas spirit. Try some."
He dipped his fingers in a pocket and tossed red-gold-green-silver glitter at me. I could have ducked. I don't know why I didn't.
It smelled like snow, and pine needles, and cedar chips in the fireplace.
It smelled like fruitcake, like roast turkey, like that foamy white stuff you spray on the window with stencils.
It felt like a crisp wind, Grandma's hugs, fuzzy new mittens, pine needles scrunching under my slippers.
I saw twinkly lights, mistletoe in the doorway, smiling faces from years gone by.
Several Christmas   carols played almost simultaneously in a kind of medley. I fought my way back to my living room and glared sternly at the hallucination in Jack's chair.
"Fun stuff.  Does the DEA know about this?"
"Oh, Frannie.  Why are you such a hard case? I told you it's non-addictive and has no harmful side effects. Would Santa Claus lie to you?"
I opened my mouth and closed it again.  We looked at each other a while.
"...Can I have some more of that glittery stuff..?"
"Mmmm. I think you need something stronger. Try a sugarplum."
I tasted rum ball.
Peppermint.
Those hard candies with the picture all the way through.
Mama's favorite fudge.
A chorus line of Christmas candies danced through my mouth.
The Swedish Angel Chimes, run on candle power, say tingatingatingating.
Mama, with a funny smile, promised to give Santa my letter.
Greeting cards taped on the refrigerator door.
We rode through the tree farm on a straw-filled trailer pulled by a red and green tractor, looking for a perfect pine. It was so big, Daddy had to cut a bit off so the star wouldn't scrape the ceiling. Lights, ornaments, tinsel. 
Daddy lifted me up to the mantle to hang my stocking.
My dolls stayed up to see Santa Claus, and in the morning they all had new clothes. 
Grandma carried in a platter with the world's biggest turkey, and I got the drumstick.
Joey's Christmas puppy chased my Christmas kitten up the tree and it would have fallen over but Daddy held it while Mama got the kitten out. Daddy said every bad word there was but he kept
laughing anyway.
I sneaked my favorite plastic horse into the nativity
scene, between the camels and the donkey.
I came back to reality slowly, with a silly smile on my face and a tickelly feeling behind my eyes like they wanted to cry. The phrase "visions of sugarplums" took on a whole new meaning.
"How long has it been," Santa asked, "since you played with a nativity set?-"
"But it symbolizes--"
"The winter-born king? The sacred Mother and her sun-child? Got a problem with that? You could redecorate it with pentagrams if you like, they'll look fine. As for the Christianization, I've heard who you invoke at Imbolc."
"But Bridgid was a Goddess for centuries before the Catholic Church - oh." I crossed my arms and tried to glare at him, but failed.
"You're a sneaky old elf, y'know?"
"The term is "Jolly Old Elf...'  Care for another sugarplum?"
I did.
I tasted gingerbread.
My first nip of eggnog the way the grown-ups drink it.
Fresh sugar cookies, shaped like trees and decked with colored frosting. 
Dad had been laid off, but we managed a lot of cheer. They told us Christmas would be "slim pickings." Joey and I smiled bravely when Mama brought home that spindly spruce. We loaded down our "Charlie Brown Christmas Tree" with every light and ornament it could hold. Popcorn and cranberry strings for the outdoor trees. Mistletoe in the hall: plastic mistletoe, real kisses. Joey and I snipped and glued and stitched and painted treasures to give as presents. We agonized over our "Santa" letters...by now we knew where the goodies came from, and we tried to compromise between what we longed for and what we thought they could afford. Every day we hoped the factory would reopen. When Joey's dog ate my mitten, I wasn't brave. I knew that meant I'd get mittens for
Christmas, and one less toy. I cried. On December twenty-fifth we opened our presents verrrrry slooooowly, drawing out the experience. We made a show of cheer over our socks and shirts and meager haul of toys. I got red mittens. We could tell Mama and Daddy were proud of us for being so brave, because they were grinning like crazy.
"Go out to the garage for apples." Mama told us, "We'll have apple pancakes."
I don't remember having the pancakes.  There was a doll house in the garage. No mass-produced aluminum thing but a homemade plywood doll house with wall-papered walls and real curtains and thread-spool chairs.  My dolls were inside, with newly sewn clothes. Joey was on his knees in front of a plywood barn with hay in the loft. His old farm implements had new paint. Our plastic animals were corralled in popsicle stick fences. 
The garage smelled like apples and hay, the cement was bone-chilling under my slippers, and I was crying.
My knees were drawn up to my chest, arms wrapped around them. My chest felt tight, like ice cracking in sunshine. Santa offered me a huge white handkerchief.  When all the ice in my chest had melted, he cleared his throat.  He was pretty misty-eyed, too.
"Want to come sit on my lap and tell me what you want for Christmas?"
"You've already given it to me."  But I sat on his lap anyway, and kissed his rosy cheek until he did his famous laugh.
"I'd better go now, Frannie.  I have other stops to make, and you have work to do."
"Right. I'd better pop the corn tonight, it strings best when it's stale." I let him out the door. The reindeer were pawing impatiently at the moon-kissed new-fallen snow. I'd swear Rudolph winked at me.
"Don't forget the milk and cookies."
"Right. Uh, December twenty-fourth, or Solstice, or what?"
He shrugged. "Whatever night you expect me, I'll be there. Eh, don't wait up. Visits like this are tightly rationed. Laws of Nature, y'know, and She's strict with them."
"Gotcha. Thanks, Santa." I kissed his cheek again.
"Happy Holidays."
The phrase had a nice, non-denominational ring to it. I thought I'd call my parents and in-laws soon and try it out on them. Santa laid his finger aside of his nose and nodded.
"Blessed be, Frannie."
The sleigh soared up, and Santa really did exclaim something. It sounded like old German. Smart-aleck elf.
When I closed the door, the radio was playing Jethro Tull's "Solstice Bells.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS